Handyman? Handy Woman

For reasons still unknown, the handle to my storm door stopped working and locked me inside my house. In order to open the door, I had to take the entire mechanism off. I’m pretty sure I did not remove it according to specifications as a hammer and crowbar were my primary tools. Once removed, there was no hope of the handle working ever again but YAY, I did get the door to open.

Today, I went to the hardware store and purchased a replacement lock with a plan to install it. I think the manufacturer was either playing a horrible joke, or assumed that only experienced door handle repair people would try to install the product because THERE WERE NO WORDS in the instructions. No description of the parts included in the package or their use. No directions as to how to put it together. Just pictures. Vague, confusing pictures.

I was on my own.

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The process was ugly. It took me 60 full minutes trying to figure out how to get the little plastic doohickey onto the rectangular metal thingy before it occurred to me the pairing wasn’t meant to be. I tossed out the doohickey. The next issue was figuring out which of the eighteen screws provided were supposed to be inserted in the SIX available holes—which, of course, didn’t line up with the holes already in my door.

Enter the my friend the hammer.

Three hours and a box of unused parts later, my door handle is in and working. The door opens, closes, and locks. More importantly, there’s a pretty hefty metal door backing it up.

Next on the Handy Woman List? A new doorbell.

Where’s my crowbar?