#Covid-19

Time Lost, Time Found

This blog post does not address the grief many of us experienced as our family and friends were lost to the ravages of COVID-19. It is not my intention to minimize our profound losses, but to offer perspective on time. My heart is with all of you.

TREVANN

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It seems nearly every week for the last few months I’ve heard someone lament about life since the start of the pandemic. I can’t blame them. I’ve lamented too. The last year and a half has been surreal at best and at worst, lost time. Here are the Top Three Laments.

  • The COVID 15. Or as I call it the pandemic 20. There are probably a few reason for this community-wide weight gain. More people than ever were baking for the first time or honing their baking skills. We were also stress eating—this was stress unlike anything we’d experienced before.

  • The vicious cycle of anxiety-produced hyper-vigilance. We worry, wash hands continually, wipe down groceries, collect sanitizer and masks, and read too many articles about the virus.

  • Guilt we didn’t accomplish more. Many of us overachievers/compulsive workaholics have given serious thought to what we could achieve given a year of excess free time. And then, given the time, we didn’t do it.

  • De-conditioning. Active jobs became remote and sedentary. To add insult to injury we had no access to pools, gyms, and competitive sports.

As the world reopens (for better or worse), and people begin to go more places and do more things, the weight of grief for the Lost Year and a Half is dissipating. But it isn’t good enough to forget why and how hard we grieved. We have to embrace it and find the lessons learned.

A pocket watch in the sand at sunrise. Or sunset.

For instance, reframe the noise in your head that says you didn’t accomplish anything. If you give it thought I am quite sure you’ll figure out something you accomplished. We learned to bake,didn’t we? We taught ourselves computer skills we didn’t previously have. We cooked at home moreRemember we spent a lot of intensive time with our families and closest friends. First of all, if your family and friends are anything like mine, that is an accomplishment. But we also created new memories. Learned something new about the people we love. Treated each other with extra special care. 

Many of us kept the world turning. We did our part to keep the supply chain moving—the truck drivers, the grocery store workers, the delivery folks. We taught our children. We took care of the sick and cared for the elderly. 

Our lives were boiled down to the most important people, places, and things. Nothing had been lost. We found time.

Who Put the Social in Social Media?

I’m not a big fan of Facebook. I know, I know—Blasphemy. But I am certain when future generations look back on this period in history, they will determine that Facebook is the antithesis of “social” and was the beginning of the end of society as we know it. Here’s why:

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  • The privacy issues. Because of Facebook and the myriad social media platforms that have followed, we have grown accustomed to having less privacy than we have previously said we wanted. Go looking for that new mattress? Facebook will show you ads. Do a search for a new baking dish? Your feed is not overflowing.

  • The ability to congregate. Okay, maybe this part isn’t all bad, as I’ll discuss in a moment. But it used to be the case that if you had some lunatic, criminal idea, you pretty much mulled it over in your basement all by yourself. Maybe you tried to convince your equally disturbed brother-in-law to join you in your flight of fantasy. But now you can find an entire group/page/friend list of like-minded criminals.

  • The illusion of anonymity. Not that you’re actually anonymous. But because you’re at home in your bunny slippers and the other people are somewhere else, it can feel like you are. Consequently people seem to think they can say ANY DAMN THING and it’s fine. Bullying, disrespect, cruelty are all okay because, you know, no one knows it’s you.

Everyday I tell myself I need to stay away. That it would be much better for my mental health if I did. But…It is only because of Facebook that I’ve reconnected with people I lost touch with. People I knew way back when—my next door neighbors from childhood found me, for goodness sake! Coworkers I’d lost touch with because I moved—many times—and life has a habit of taking sharp turns. It’s pretty cool that they’ve found me.

Consequently, I’m here on my website. You can find me on Instagram. I play around on Pinterest. And damn it, yes. I’m on Facebook.

I’ll see you there. https://www.facebook.com/trevannr

Pineapple Fried Rice

Sometimes you just have to go for it.

I’ve been craving Asian food since just before the lockdown, I mean, quarantine. So tonight I took the plunge to make some.

Mind you, any other time I’ve tried to make Asian food it came out HORRIBLY. I just could never replicate the taste of my favorites. Egg Foo Young. Lo Mein. Korean Barbecue. Tempura anything. So today I was looking up recipes (#foodporn) and I didn’t have the ingredients for any of them.

But I was determined. So I combined a couple of different recipes and made a leap of faith in my improv cooking skills. Mom was, after all, a caterer.

Here is the result—Pineapple Fried Rice and Tempura Shrimp. OMG, it was delicious. I used these ingredients:

  • jasmine rice

  • onion

  • whole salted cashews

  • raisins

  • frozen pineapple

  • soy sauce

  • curry powder

  • eggs

I am so excited. My mom would be proud of me.

Tho I did cheat with the shrimp. I had some frozen, already tempura’d shrimp in the freezer.😊

Next on the agenda: Homemade Eggrolls

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Taking Care of Ourselves

We’re all talking about the effects of isolation on our mental health.  One of the suggestions experts are making is to start a journal.  The theory seems to be that this is such an unusual time and circumstance we would value a record in the future.  That sounds like a wonderful idea.  I wish I had been able to do that.

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But the pandemic and social isolation/social distancing have had the opposite effect on me. I’ve kept a journal for most of my life.  During stressful times in the past, I have written up to 10 pages a day dealing with the circumstance.  Journaling this spring should have been easy.  I am, after all, a writer.

Since early March, it has been difficult for me to “orient to time”.  I do clearly understand day-to-day events but often not the exact date. Time compresses, too. I often can’t remember if something happened last week or the week before. My sleeping has become erratic as well. At least twice a week I find myself still awake at 5 am, with the sun peaking over the horizon

Yesterday, I picked up my journal because I thought it had been a few days since I had written.  The last entry was April 3rd. My new plan is to follow Julia Cameron’s recommendation for Morning Pages. This means writing for three pages, longhand, in the style of stream of consciousness. The idea is to do this first thing in the morning to have a clear mind for the day.  

I don't want to. But I will. It will help me keep track of time. It will also enable me to discharge some of my anxiety on the page.

I also found a few things that really help me to reign in my uneasiness. Besides writing, I find deep breathing to be helpful. The Calm app is for iOS devices is a goto for me, There are options that you can get if you pay for them, but the breathing exercises are free (so far) and they really help. Calm Of course, the master of breathing exercises is Dr. Andrew Weil. You can find his exercises here: Dr.Weil

If that sounds too boring to you, many places are offering virtual tours. I find it pretty meditative to watch an aquarium, or meander through a museum. Here are a couple of links to explore. YOu might find something to take you away from your worries, if only for a little while.

Best Virtual Tours According to Goodhousekeeping

Best Virtual Tours According to Town and Country Magazine

How are you managing? Be well. Stay safe. #stayhome if you can #washyourhands