Writer's Life

, ,

A Sacrifice for Convenience

, ,

A plate of quesadillas.

I’m sure I’m not alone in occasionally eating take-out food. There are those days when I’m too tired to think about cooking. Or too busy to have time to make a meal. And I’ll admit it—sometimes, there just isn’t anything in the fridge that is even remotely appealing.

My partner and I are not very adventurous when it comes to food. Once in a blue, we’ll try a new restaurant after thoroughly vetting it through friends or reviews. When we find one, it goes on the list of options.

There was a time when we could count on these select places to give us delicious, beautifully present food in exchange for money. Since the pandemic, we tip for take-out because given the circumstances it felt like the right thing to do.

But our list today is short and growing shorter. Restaurants that we have had great food and experiences with are disappointing us in a myriad of ways.

  • An item (or two) missing from our order.

  • A presentation so poor as to be unappealing.

  • Badly cooked—burned beyond edibility or worse.

Just yesterday, we ordered from a place that we have gotten food from many, many times. It’s gotten progressively worse. For instance, at some point we ordered a bean burrito that had no beans in it. Seriously. But we decided to give it another chance. This time we ordered quesadillas. It was the trifecta of awful: Sloppily constructed and presented. Chicken so dried out it it was unrecognizable as chicken—or anything edible. And—you guessed it—burned tortillas.

At this point, the only three places that have not disappointed us—yet—are our local McDonald’s, a pizza parlor with amazing zucchini fries, and a little breakfast place. As a business person, I have an idea what is happening and it has to do with training, oversight, lack of pride in a job well done, etc. But a question remains: WHY is it happening? I have no idea but if you do, I’d like to hear it.

Take out no longer seems worth the convenience. I think we’ll stop eating out for a while, and instead plan simple meals that we can make even if we’re tired or have little time. To be sure, it’s healthier and less expensive this way. But it sure is disappointing.

, ,

September : Pain Awareness Month

, ,

People who experience chronic pain are very good at pretending to be okay. Even if every step feels like grinding glass. Even if standing upright takes herculean effort. Even if they are holding their breath so they don’t whimper…or scream.

My partner spent many years trying to get doctors to believe that yes, I am in immense pain and no, whatever treatment you’ve given me hasn’t worked. Finally, she found two brilliant doctors, both women, who believed her from the start and set out to find a way to help her. And to some degree, they have.

It’s easy to understand how people get addicted to prescription medicine. J.R. once told me that she could imagine a level of pain were she knows she would do absolutely anything to make it go away.

Anyway, the point of all this is that you never know the burdens that someone is carrying. You never truly know how someone feels. It doesn’t cost a thing to be kind.

So be kind. Please.

,

Dancing Shards of Light-The Perseid Meteor Shower

,

A very long time ago, my therapist—I’ll call her H— invited me to watch a meteor shower with her. I didn’t want to. Since I was an obsessive worrier, why she invited me to watch the sky falling was beyond me. But I was very connected to this woman, so I agreed. I would be brave.

We hunted for a place as far away from direct and ambient light as possible—No easy feat in the 20th century. Luckily, we found a small, empty field. I’d never been anywhere in the outdoors that was so bereft of light. It was difficult to see well enough to set up our chairs. Luckily, H brought a flashlight.

At first, nothing happened. We sat in the dark, talking in whispers for no reason at all. And then, there it was. I was mesmerized. The sky wasn’t falling. It was dancing. A sparkling cloud of dust, the remnants of a comet, danced above me and, at the same time, encompassed me. In those moments, I felt the vastness of the universe and the gift of light those small particles offered. I also realized two things:

  • Compared to the vastness of space, most of my worries were not so big.

  • Even in consuming darkness, there are shards of light. But you have to let yourself see them.

Although we never talked about it, I’m pretty sure that was what H had planned all along.

The Perseid meteor shower is scheduled to peak on August 12-13 this year. If you’ve never had the experience, I strongly suggest it. You might have to do a little work to find a dark enough spot, but even if you don’t have epiphanies like I did, the shower of light is worth it. You can find out more about it here. Enjoy.



, , ,

Gale Stanley's The Bathhouse

, , ,

Join me in welcoming Gale Stanley and her book, The Bathhouse!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE BATHHOUSE is a gay, multicultural, second chance romance. Enjoy!

BLURB

Reed Barton is a millionaire who can have anything he wants, except the one thing he desires most. His first love. He’s spent years trying to recreate the night they met in a San Francisco bathhouse. The image of the beautiful Filipino man who took his virginity is never far from his thoughts.

Reed’s life is turned upside down when his long-lost love reappears -- and not in a good way. Joseph Castro is not quite what he seems. Time and experience have changed both men, and there’s no going back. But maybe, together, they can go forward.

Add to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/167085037-the-bathhouse

EXCERPT

The service center looked much as Reed remembered it. His eagle-eyed inspection didn’t miss much as he made his way around the crowded cubicles. Some workers weren’t as attentive as others and he made note of them.

Glancing up, he caught sight of a man entering a cubicle at the end of the aisle. Their eyes met and a shock of recognition hit Reed like a tidal wave.

No. It couldn’t be. Could it? Oh, God, let it be him.

The Filipino gave the barest nod of recognition and disappeared behind the wall of his workspace and just like that the years melted away and their night together seemed like only yesterday.

Reed’s heart beat fast and hard. Foolishly, he wondered if Babyboy felt the same electric charge that he did. Wishful thinking. More likely, the Filipino remembered him as just another encounter from the distant past. Did Reed want to find out? Yes, he needed to know. Reed took a few deep breaths and pulled himself together. It would be wrong to show too much interest in an employee. He forced himself to continue his tour and when he reached the man’s cubicle, he looked inside. The nameplate on the desk said Joseph Castro.

Joseph Castro had his headset on, apparently helping a customer. Reed stood transfixed, watching the Filipino at work. Joseph spoke calmly in slightly accented English that seemed to caress each word. It had been years, but Reed found himself getting hot just thinking of how that voice had whispered dirty talk in his ear.

Joseph ended his call and looked up. “Hello, Pogi.”

The words were so soft, Reed wondered if he’d really heard them. He mouthed back. “Babyboy.”

Joseph sighed, but didn’t speak another word. They stared at each other and it felt like a scene from a cheesy movie, where the room fades to a blur while the two heroes connect in a powerful silent dialog. Despite the intervening years, the emotions that washed over Reed were familiar. Caught in a time warp, Reed felt as if summer had finally arrived after a long severe winter.

, , , ,

Love is all we need…And books, of course.

, , , ,

In celebration of Pride Month, here is a selection of books, many with LGBT themes and/or protagonists. Let's let June 2023 be a reminder that we all deserve affirmation and the right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Love, afterall, is love, isn't it?

, , ,

The Business of Writing

, , ,

I’ve been a writer for a long time. It started with journaling, then publishing and writing for a free, underground fanfic newsletter called Hot Chocolate. For me, writing has always been a necessary joy. Stories roll around in my head all the time and sometimes, they consume me. The result? House of the Rising Son, After Midnight, and the soon to be released, Waiting for the Son, and every short story I’ve ever written.

In looking to have House published, I discovered an unfortunate truth: Writing is a business.

Of course, I knew selling was part of it. I didn’t know the first of that selling was selling the story to a publisher. Most people think that publishers do everything. They sure do a lot, but most publishers don’t help much with marketing. But for a writer, marketing is Job #: Planning, Promotion, Social Media, and more.1. I had a lot of learning to do. At this point, I spend 5-10 hours a week on one marketing activity or another. I’m getting pretty good at some of them. Still don’t like marketing much.

I’m currently planning the launch of my 3rd novel, Waiting for the Son. I’m also working on a new short story, plotting the next book in the Living After Midnight series, and plotting another series. It’s too early to say to much about it except that the working title is Six +1. Look for it in the next year!

Onward. I have a launch to organize.

, ,

I Found Them When I Needed Them.

, ,

Music has always been an important part of my life. It lifts me up when I am sad, makes me think about life, and entertains me endlessly. For many years, Prince fueled my music obsession. If you want to know why and are new to L.A.M.,I talk about it here. It Was Always Love.

When he died in 2016, I was lost. For many years after that, I couldn’t bring myself to listen to any music at all. The world, formerly filled with vibrant colors, looked and felt gray. Then one day, years later, I was watching television and a cell phone commercial came on. Seven guys with multi-colored hair were singing and dancing. Honestly, their look first attracted me. Each one had a different type of handsome. Actually, I’d say beautiful.

But something about their voices and the way they moved hooked me.

It didn’t take much research to find out who they were: The K-pop phenom, BTS. Bangtan Sonyeondan. The more I listen to them, the further down the rabbit hole I went. It was crazy! Unlike the song I first heard them sing in the commercial, most of their songs are in Korean. But it doesn’t matter. Their lyrics are powerful. Their voices fill me with so much joy. Their melodies move me. They write and produce manyof their songs.

And those guys can dance.

If you’re thinking KPop is just for kids, give this group a listen. If you think KPop idols are just kids themselves, check them out. For now, BTS is on a long-term hiatus, taking off a few years to complete their mandatory military service. Although they aren’t performing as a group, each member is going his own way as they await their enlistment dates. They’re making solo albums, modeling, and becoming high-visibility brand ambassadors for upscale clothing and jewelry. No reason to miss them yet.

It was time for a break, I suppose. They’ve been in the music business since 2013. In some ways, I’m sorry I wasn’t following them back then, but the word among fans is that you find BTS when you need them the most. Today, just as I was one of Prince’s hardcore fans, I am now a certified Army—the name for BTS’s most dedicated fans. It amazes me still that like Prince, BTS— Jin, Suga, J-Hope, RM, Jimin, V, and Jungkook—saved me.

,

Desperately Seeking Cookies

,

I know, I know. Today is Mother’s Day. It’s a hard day for me for many reasons. So to distract myself, I’ve made a big batch of chocolate chip cookies.

I’ve made the same Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies for longer than I want to admit. In all that time, I can tell you they taste delicious but don’t usually look the way they do in cookbooks or on recipe pages. They’re flat, soft (I like that part), and in all versions of imperfect ovals.

I’m looking for as close to a foolproof recipe as is possible. Nothing that requires rolling—I’m not a fan. But definitely the recipe that you find produces the BEST cookies in terms of taste, texture, and appearance.

I hope someone rises to the challenge.

.
The Alliance of Independent Authors – AuthorMember