Query Weary


Hello, my name is Trevann Rogers, and I am a compulsive rule obeyer.
Sometimes, I do wish there was a meeting for those of us who cannot manage to   break the rules. Lest you think otherwise, it isn't always in one's best interest to never color outside the lines. I could tell you dozens of stories about how adhering to the letter of the law/regulation/rule/guidelines has 
worked against my best interest, but I will focus on my most recent example: Writing a query letter.

If you haven't written one, or perhaps not written one in a long time, there are many resources that offer sage advice on how to write a query letter. There are samples to review, books to read, websites to scan, and workshops to attend.  After going through a variety of sources, it was clear that a certain pattern, a  specific template is expected of these important letters of inquiry. Like  the rule slave that I am, I wrote, re-wrote and then refined my letter to the  specifications these sources told me was required. 

Because I am also a recovering perfectionist, I then sent off the final draft to my critique group and several published author acquaintences who had generously offered to read my letter (Thank you!). And guess what? THEY ALL HATED IT. 

Not enough detail... 
But every resource said do not fill it with details!
Don't make a comparison to well-known books.
But every source said to compare your work to similar works in the genre--and the author isn't wll known, how will the agent/editor recognize them?
Don't start it off with a hook.
The "experts" say you MUST have a hook!
Since you are unpublished in fiction, don't give your biography or writing credentials.
The guidelines say a biographical paragraph is required!

So back to the drawing board I go. With hand shaking, heart palpitating anxiety I will rewrite the query letter and break all the rules.

Heavens help me.