5 Things You Can Do to Take Better Care of Yourself

I don’t know about you, but I’m taking far worse care of myself now than I did in the “before times”. I know that I have to do better with the basics—#movemore #eatbetter. I have plans to improve, and I’ve forgiven myself for my transgressions. But in the course of thinking about how to feel better and make the most of my time in isolation, I’ve come up with a short list of ways I can take better care of myself.

#1 Stop Worrying. This one has been a hard lesson to learn. I’ve been a worrier all of my life. At points in my life, my worrying was debilitating. But one evening, as I shared a current worry with a friend, my loving friend said, “Don’t waste your time worrying about things you don’t have control over. It doesn’t help. Plus you ruin a good day due to the possibility of a bad one.”

Well, damn.

That simple truth hadn’t occurred to me. Now every time I start to worry about something I can’t control, I hear her voice.

2. Tend to someone. Or something.

Sometimes we are in our heads too much. At least I am, especially when it’s quiet or I’m engaged in some routine activity like washing dishes. But when we step outside of ourselves and take care of someone or something, we are immediately warmed. Happier. And it’s not all due to appreciation from those we’re caring for. It’s also because it just feels good. It reinforces our connection to the world. Sometimes, it’s inexplicable. When my Toby lays in my lap because he wants lots of petting, it’s joyous—Even though his boney knees dig into my tender flesh. Shaving Molly, my furry senior dog, feels good. Not that it is truly an enjoyable process for me or her, but shaving her feet helps her to walk better. My partner loves to tend to flowers. It makes her happy to see them grow.

Take care of flowers, pets, family members. Drop off some cookies on your elderly neighbor’s porch. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re tending to others.

3. Do something fun, with intention.

Whether you work from home or go into to work, times have changed. I feel like I work 24-hrs a day because if I’m not actually engaged in work, I’m thinking about it. But when I plan something fun, like doing a craft or going for a drive with my partner, there is a line delineating “NOT WORKING TIME”. Moreover, I have something to look forward to.

Plan something fun every week. If you can, every day. It will make a difference in how you feel.

4. Find time to treat yourself to something special.

Rather, something that feels special to you. I like a cup of coffee and a book to read. Some people like a glass of wine and a book, or a bath. Or you could color. Tend to your garden. Crochet. Paint your nails.

You deserve time that is DEVOTED TO YOU BY YOU. This offers an opportunity to relax, reflect, or rejuvenate. Do what you like.

5. Smile more.

Research tells us that smiling is good for us. It improves our moods, alleviates stress, and can boost our immune systems. It can also make people around you smile—Bonus! I would bet that you have a few things that are guaranteed to make you smile. For me, some movies make me laugh every time. Ever see “Cold Turkey”, or “Arsenic and Old Lace”? Also my partner has a silly sense of humor that resonates with me, so she makes me smile and laugh all the time.

Find a reason every day to smile. Especially the days you just don’t feel like it.

What nourishes you? Let’s share and encourage each other!

Strangely Beautiful

I know many people who spend a great deal of time and money on their lawns and flower beds. I’ve never been so fortunate to have either tons of cash or talent in that area. Consequently, my partner and I have always had a “grow if you want to” sort of approach.

It works for us. We plant from time to time, but often end up with beautiful flowers in giant pots. We mow, but not as often as other people in our neighborhood. The wild look seems to suit us, and well, when our neighbors have killed their grass from too much mowing in hot weather, our lawn flourishes. Mostly. When it wants to.

As you can see in the pictures, we keep as many leaves as possible on the lawn and in the flower beds. It works for forests, right? No one rakes them. Past the big tree is a downward incline—much of our property is down the hill. We don’t do anything with that except occasionally get rid of the poison ivy or this nasty invasive vine that wants to have its way with our trees and bushes. But hill is lush and green, with lots of bunnies and squirrels and even foxes.

Okay, fine. It’s messy. Strange. Uneven. Wild. But gosh. It’s so beautiful.

Oops! I've Done It Again--NaNoWriMo

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I have embarked on that nearly impossible task of writing 50K words in one month.

This means 30 days (now 26) of quick and easy food, minimal cleaning, barely any laundry, and sleepless nights. (Not sleeping is the only way I can do this, as my full-time gig won’t give me the month off to write. Go figure.) Moreover, Thanksgiving falls right at Nano crunch time. If I’m ahead, I can maybe take a minute to cook a real turkey dinner. If I’m behind…

It’s only turkey.

NaNoWriMo is a huge challenge I give myself. Part creative, part stress, it’s right up my alley. What tough challenges do you take on?

Coloring=Mediation

My partner and I have effectively quarantined for 8 1/2 months at this point.  I would love nothing better than to shop for myself, spend a lazy afternoon in Barnes and Noble scanning magazines and books. I want to have breakfast at our favorite diner and have coffee from my favorite shop.  As much as I love my partner, our dogs, and our house, I want to go out again.  I won’t of course.  I understand the reality of the pandemic right outside my door, literally.

Experts often recommend meditation.  I’ve tried and I always fall asleep or my mind becomes even more scattered.

But I have found something that allows my mind to rest. Coloring. I know I have mentioned it before but I feel that I have not recommended it strongly enough.  When I am concentrating on finding every tiny space to color, I let everything else go.  All I think about is the picture and the color.

I admit I like paper and crayon coloring too but I prefer using coloring apps.  Apparently, I am not the only one as there is an amazing array of apps to choose from.  I’ve downloaded probably twenty of them.  But I find myself using the same three.  Happy Color gives me new pictures every day.  My favorites are the ones labeled RARE.  With those pictures, each swipe brings not just a color but designs and shades of the color.  There are never enough but they keep me coming back.  I’m addicted to pictures of rooms and table settings. I am always excited to find several in my morning haul. 

Another is Colorscapes.  As I touch the space I intend to color, I enjoy the puff of blue smoke that lets me know I hit the space.  This is especially helpful when the pieces are very small.I know that I’m finished with a section when no more smoke appears when I touch the page.  Paint By Number is similar to Colorscapes.  It has similar projects but no blue smoke. I have tried others that are beautiful but keep returning to these for some reason. 

I am not sure if it’s  pathetic or a good thing that a puff of blue smoke or swatch of color can leave me feeling happy and peaceful.  Do you have activity that works like meditation for you?

Why Worry? #lessons

I worry about everything.

The election. My partner’s asthma. My weight. Upcoming doctor appointments. COVID-19. World peace. My dog’s incessant appetite and thirst. Carbohydrates. The condition of the sun. Death. (Just as a few examples.)

It is exhausting, really. It takes its toll. Sleep becomes elusive, because when I close my eyes, all I can do is think about the thing I’m worrying about. And poor coping skills lead me to eat badly and stop exercising. Moreover, I also get nauseated, sometimes with the existential nausea of questioning existence.

One day, in the middle of worrying about death and dying, I had a conversation with a friend. She calmly listened to me lament while my stomach churned. At a point, she looked at me with the most puzzled expression and asked me, “If there is nothing you can do about it, why spend the time worrying?”

She went on to point out to me that the time I spent worrying so hard ruins time—worrying so much about death wastes life.

Have you ever had a lightbulb moment, a moment when you understand something so profound it changes your life? That was mine.

I’m not saying I never worry. I do. I suppose it’s in my nature. But a lot of the time, when I remind myself about this conversation. What’s the point of worrying when there is nothing I can do? And since EVERY minute of life is so precious, why waste any of them feeling sick and agitated about something that is out of my control? After that, I can usually take a breath and let it go.

Mostly.

I’d love to hear about your lightbulb moments. What “aha!” changed your life.

My lesson in a chart.

A Ceramic What?

In addition to writing, one might say I’m a collector. A hardcore Prince fan, I’ve collected newspaper articles, pictures, music in all formats, books, magazines, concert tickets (I’ve been to so many Prince concerts). The list of what I have and what I would collect is endless. No, I don’t own anything horribly rare or expensive, but every single Prince thing I do have is meaningful to me.

In my opinion, collecting Prince stuff is rational. There will never be another quite like him. But I seem to have other items that, well, perplex even me.

I own several pickles—A couple of ornaments, (one beautifully blown glass), and a number of note cards and bookmarks with pickle images. Why?? I also own glass grapes, metal grapes, and a few pictures of grapes. Huh?

One of my prize possessions is a hot dog. See?

My ceramic frankfurter.

I do not know why I am so drawn to this, but I bet you like it, too.

Where Would You Go If You Could?

If nothing else, staying home for the past few months has given me time to write, and time to think.I tend to focus on my darker, sadder thoughts so, too much time to think isn’t usually a good thing for me.

But sometimes, I think about what’s on my list of things I will do when (if?) the pandemic is over. I definitely want to drive down to the Outer Banks again. I fell in love with the picturesque trip as well as the entire area. From our hotel, the beach was not even a stone’s throw. We stepped onto the balcony and right into the ocean breeze. It sure was beautiful.

I think I’d also like to take an Alaskan cruise, or maybe even a land/cruise combination. Not only are the mountains and icebergs breathtaking (even in pictures), but the Northern Lights...What words can describe this? I imagine being there, seeing this, would be a spiritual experience.

Given the chance, where would you go?

One of Those Days

One thing I know for sure is that if one thing goes wrong in the morning, the rest of the day is in trouble.

First, I have to admit that I overslept, so getting out of the house was rushed.  As I was leaving, the phone rang and I saw it was the arborist who is supposed to check our tree.  This appointment has been delayed by a tropical storm a couple of weeks ago and then a storm with tornados last week.  The arborist was called to help with tree damage, so our poor tree was put on hold.  I knew he was calling to reschedule but there was no time to check calendars so I told the phone (and myself) that I would call him later.

Tuesday is errand day.  I have to be out for our farm shares pick up so run other errands. When I attached my phone in the car, I received the message that the phone was offline.  Now, this phone is about a week old and one sim card has already had to be replaced.  Here we go again I thought.  Followed by “I’ll have to call them later.”

Off I went and picked up the farm shares and decided not to do the other errands to save time. I arrived home, showered, and put everything away.  I grabbed last night’s leftover lasagna and heated that for lunch. 

During lunch a friend called needing to borrow something, medicine was delivered, and a friend kept texting complaints about his day. 

Actually, it was worse than this looks.

Finally, I headed to my office to get started on my workday, only to learn that the internet was down.  I did the usual magic, but nothing happened.  I spent the next 3 hours on the phone with the tech guy who told me one thing to do, then totally changed what he wanted me to do until I was completely turned around.  I checked for loose cables, traced the cable back to its entry to the house, but honestly I wouldn’t have recognized something wrong If I had seen it.  There were multiple wires going in every direction. Did we really have cable in six rooms?  Seems we do even though they are hooked to nothing.  Finally, the tech and I decided that a new modem should be sent.  Great.  How many days?

I also teach remotely, and guess what is needed for that? Yes, an internet connection.  Using the hot spot on my phone I was able to hold the class.  Miraculously when my class ended, the internet came online and then it was gone again.

So here I sit with blogs to post, email to send, and classes to get ready for tomorrow.  But I have no internet.  What’s a person to do? I think I will go to bed and make sure tomorrow starts on time.

To Write, or Not to Write Short Stories

I’m a member of a writing group that has decided to publish an anthology of our short stories.  Sounds good, right? Yes, and no.

On the positive side, anthologies offer readers an opportunity to sample new authors, usually at a bargain price. It also enables authors to reach new audiences, and sometimes. to try their hands at new genres.

On the other hand…

While I’ve written a few successful short stories, I don’t easily write “short”. I have a few stories, but they are closer to flash fiction in length.  I don’t like to read long rambling tales so it stands to reason that I also don’t write them  I do tend to write stories that involve the cast of characters who appear in my longer works.

Unfortunately, that creates the problem of how to explain who these people are without lots of backstory. There isn’t time or space to do that in a short work of fiction.  I suppose I could identify it as a Living After Midnight story but what if the reader hasn’t read those books?  How do I make this interesting enough that it might make someone new want to read more? Maybe I would be better off using new characters as long as it takes place in or around Unakite. 

Decisions decisions.

If I’m being honest, I have to admit it doesn’t usually work for me to try to go outside my fictional world. My characters are so pushy they often manage to insert themselves into anything I write— if only for a cameo.

What do you think? Do you read short stories?

Cookies. Yes, I said it. Cookies.

Being home more than usual has been a challenge in many ways. By nature, I’m what my partner calls a slugabed. Meaning, given the option, I might just slug around and stay in bed. I wouldn’t go that far, but it is true that I don’t get nearly the exercise I did when I had to go into the office.

MMMM. Cookies.

So, I’ve been sitting around more, working at my job and writing, and trying to make sure I do stretches and get up, away from the computer, and walk throughout each day.

I’m also coming down off of a baking binge. You name it, I baked it. Banana bread, cranberry orange bread, cookies, actual bread.

See where I’m going here? None of that is good for me. NONE. But what’s a writer to do? Cranking out words is hungry work.

Fortunately, I found a recipe for cookies that is gluten-free and therefore not that bad for me. They’re made with coconut flour, almond flour, eggs, chocolate chips (YAY!), sugar, and butter. They are very rich. You can only eat one at a sitting. And they are really satisfying.

Drop me a line if you want the recipe.

Once More Unto the Breach #CampNano

I think I’m addicted to NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. Every November, I sign up with millions of others around the world to pledge to write a new 50,000 word novel in thirty days. No one is expected to have a polished novel at the end of that time, rather a draft that you can edit and turn into a finished work. Sounds good, right?

It is. It is also incredibly stressful. Writing is not easy. In fact, is it one of the most difficult ventures I’ve ever taken on. Sometimes the words flow like water. Most of the time, however, it’s like bleeding on the page. Stripping pieces of your soul. Add to that, trying to write at a much faster pace than I manage normally, and you have a grueling, stressful process.

Camp Nano, which takes place in July, is a kinder, gentler version of NaNoWriMo. You still have 30 days, but it’s not in the middle of the biggest holiday season, and you can pick any project you choose—something new, or a project you’ve worked on before. You also don’t have to add 50K. My goal is to finish the novel I’m working on by adding 20K words. I should be able to accomplish it.

What both programs have in common is the camaraderie, the sense of “I’m not in this alone”, unlike the rest of the months I write. As I’m also a competitive person, the drive to claim the winner’s badge also helps me to focus on achieving my goal.

So…here I go. Wish me luck.

Time is Moving Weirdly. Or is it just me?

A serene beach with the shade of a palm tree.

I’ve been home with my partner since March 13, except for a very anxiety-riddled visit to the vet (no contact delivery and pick up of my pooches) and a quick stop at Dairy Queen (we were RIGHT THERE. Don’t judge me.) For the first month, I was in a fog. Panicked all the time. Unable to sleep or eat. Obsessive. Hypochondriacal.

Thankfully, it did eventually end. Then I became focused on being productive. WRITE. CLEAN. ORGANIZE. Work on the yard. Get arts and crafty. There are days that I am very productive.

There are also days when I get up, have a cup of coffee, glance at the clock—and it’s 3:30PM. Then suddenly it’s 9:00PM. Then 11:00PM. What the hell?

I have a few guesses about what happens. Sometimes, it’s a social media time suck. Sometimes it’s a Netflix binge. Or more likely, my to-do list is SO BIG I wander around my house unsure of where or how to start.

The consequence is that I accomplish nothing on those days. Zilch. In fact, it’s all I can do to drag my exhausted for no reason self to bed. Fortunately, I found a fix for it. I pick ONE thing that I MUST accomplish each day, instead of my usual multi-item list. I nearly always do more, but when I don’t, I can still look back on the day and feel good about it.

Does this weird passing of time ever happen to you? How do you deal with it?

By the way, this beautiful picture here has nothing to do with what I’m writing about today. It just makes me happy. I hope it makes you happy, too.